the polar bears need my help

So, here I am, venturing into the unkown (to me) world of blogging. I've steered clear of blogs for quite some time, being slow to pick up on the technology raging around me. Borrowing a line from Erykah Badu, I'm definitely an analog girl in a digital world. I prefer pen to paper or manual typewriters over computers; vinyl will always beat out CDs . . . and mp3s are only to get me through a workout, thanks.

My point to all of this: there are several key components to who I am that I've not been cultivating. My goal through blogging is to reopen these areas of my life to growth.

First, I am a writer. I always have been, and wish to always be expressive through writing. I haven't been doing so, though. I'm in an incredibly undisciplined place right now. Rather than writing daily as I know does wonderful things for my psyche, I'm really doing something if I write anything once a month. Thus, challenge to self #1: blog daily. My main goal is not acquiring readers, but the actual process of writing daily and recognizing the gems that appear from that process.

Second, I love adventure. I am the down-for-whatever type, but my physical state is such that I have the energy, strength and flexibility to be down for only what I can survive before I fall to the ground clutching my chest and gasping for air . . . and even that I do slowly. Through a series of truly insane events (including a year of prescription anti-depressants & anti-psychotics . . . hey, I don't pull out the italics for nothing) that I won't bore you with, I've put on enough weight that I'm starting to not recognize myself. In the process of recovering mental, emotional and spiritual health, my physical health has suffered tremendously. Challenge to self #2: move body and regain physical health.

These two challenges to myself are the inspiration for this blog. Simply saying "I'm going to get back into writing" or "I'm going to get back into shape" will do very little for me. What are my specific goals? How do I plan on achieving them? What is my timeframe for my short and long term goals? Chances are, if you're reading this I've invited you to, which, in part, answers the question of how I'm going to hold myself accountable for actually working toward the goals I lay out.

To start out, I'll simply be blogging daily which is, admittedly, a pretty big challenge for myself. I'll work out the answers to the questions I've asked in my daily blogs, and eventually begin seeing my goals reached. That's the theory at least.

The timeframe I'm shooting for . . . I aim to blog daily until the Kansas City Zoo Run in the fall of 2010, which I plan to enter and complete. Hey, it's not a marathon, so I have more than ample time to train for it. It's an annual, short race through the zoo that benefits a different endangered animal each year. This year, the polar bears will reap reward from my efforts. Yes, it is a race, and yes, it is chip-timed, but honestly, the only people I'm competing against are me and all the voices in my head.

So, there you have it. My first entry. My husband is looking at me like I'm a fool for starting a blog . . . maybe I am, but we'll see what happens.