have it Your way

I'd say I've made a bit of progress so far... Today is the first day in a LONG time that I've not had any refined sugars. (and it's only taken me 3 days and feeling like punching people in the face for 2 of them to get here)

How sad, really. When a person knows that food is an addictive substance to them, yet they ignore it. I've not used food properly -- as fuel for my body -- for about 2 years now. There are, of course, other factors that have contributed to my weight gain, but I'll be honest...I did this to myself.

So, here I am again, retraining myself to crave the right types and amounts of food. To enjoy moving my body. To react appropriately when the urge to stuff my face with sugar or massive amounts of any other pleasurable food strikes. In OA it's labeled abstinence. The entire object is to work the 12-step program to obtain and maintain abstinence from compulsive overeating. I've used the 12-step program before. I'm going to use principles I learned to rework the program again, but the emphasis now, for this moment in time is -- God.

I am powerless to make these changes on my own, but God...

I submit myself to the life that God wants for me.

I want what God has in store for me which is complete freedom from the bondages that have held me down my entire life. If it wasn't food it was a myriad of other vices.

This is the year. This is the time that it ends. God has called me to where I am. I am here only because I followed His beckoning.

I push on knowing where I'm going is equally powerful in God's love and grace as the hell I've been through was destructive.

Have Your way.